In the beginning, it was really really really dark. Moving around would have been extremely difficult, some might say impossible. That is unless of course you were an evolutionary creature in which case the laws of truth did not apply to you anyhow. Being the engineer that God is, he devised a seven-fold plan to eliminate the dreadful nothingness. After completing his rough draft, God took his idea to the board. Since all of the board memebers were of the same mind, the plans were quickly agreed upon and a construction date was confirmed. Here is a brief summary of the seven-fold plan:
Day 1: Begin construction of Corporate Headquarters & Satellite Testing Facility. Begin construction of generators & lights. Obtain patents on all creations. Result- Good
Day 2: Begin construction of "Temporarily Suspended Water Canopy" to be reserved for later use (disciplinary downsizing of middle level management team). Begin construction of aviary. Result- Good
Day 3: Begin construction of solid platform and water tanks. Landscape solid platform. Result- Good
Day 4: Power up running lights and mood lights. Result- Good
Day 5: Stock water tanks and aviary. Result- Good
Day 6: Begin production of animals & release onto solid platform. Begin production of middle level management team. Result- Good
Day 7: Corporate Holiday mandates that everyone abstain from work with the exception of food service workers, who may continue to work in order to provide holiday meals for middle level management.
The construction efforts were a success and the holiday celebration that followed was not to be forgotten...ever.
That's the news. And now the rest of the story...
Around the middle of the sixth day, with no management team yet available for instruction, a few of the animals in Sector 783C began to take things into their own hands. Starvation had led them to wander into a local cabbage patch where they ate until full, and perhaps a bit further. With hunger pains diminished, boredom began to set in. It was at this moment that the eldest of the three wanderers had a revelation:
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Saul Harvey, news reporter, journeys through the stories of the Bible seeking out truth and wisdom. Join in Saul's adventures, by following his footsteps through thousands of years of history and faith, as he brings you the news and ..."the rest of the story".
2 comments:
" Moving around would have been extremely difficult"
is the best line in the whole thing! Classic.
This is an interesting take on Genesis. As I understand your theory, the pinnacle of God's creation was not - in fact - humans (as we have so ego-centrically deduced in the past), but rather the cabbage fart.
Easy to assemble... step by step instructions... no nasty "Insert Tab 811B into Slot 811A" faulderah. Yup.. you pretty much nailed it! Any way of getting restructured middle management to get my contractors here on my small sector of platfrom to finish within MY timeframe? And you say just 7 days huh?
"Oh Hector... let us discuss plasterwork..."
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