The "Willy Wonka" candy corporation has decided to follow in the footsteps of it's biggest retailer, WalMart. After a closed door meeting with representatives from Walmart's Legal Department and a Spokesperson for the Wonka Corporation, Wonka Corp went public with its bold plans to pick up shop and move its candy factories to China. Spokespersons from both companies insist that this is a positive move for all concerned parties. However, the Union of Oompah-Loompahs are outraged by this "travestshamockary" and refuse to "go down like that". Within a few hours of Wonka Corp's announcement, a formal work strike was declared. A representative for the Union of Oompah-Loompahs was overheard, at an emergency Union meeting, shouting from the podium in chant-like repetition, "We're people TOO!!!". The Willy Wonka Corporation has countered with plans for a new hybrid of candy workers, the Asian-Oompah-Loompah, that is much more productive and cost effective. Wonka Corp released this video, during a press conference yesterday, to "show the world the next generation of candy makers".
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
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Wow. At the end of the video it asks if you want to watch it again. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! It seemed to take four hours the first time!
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