Monday, July 24, 2006

Monday, July 10, 2006

Nets! Nets! We don't need no stinking nets!!!

After a really really really long ride, through the most ever so confusing, space time continuum, our travelling reporter finds himself emersed in a thicket of weeds, near the Sea of Galilee. Still pondering the mathematical possibilities of zero point energy and antimatter, Saul Harvey glances out across the shoreline. In the distance, a man called Jesus is walking towards two fishing boats. The boats belong to two rivalling tournament fishing teams. Team one : Peter and Andrew. Team two : James and John. The fishermen were cleaning their nets for the next big tourney, when Jesus stepped into Peter's boat and began teaching the many spectators gathered on the shoreline. When he was finished explaining the parallels between life and fishing (and a short demonstration of the superiorness of spoonbait over spinners), Jesus turned to Peter. "Peter," he said, "cast your nets out into the deep water." "But Jesus," Peter whined, "we just finished fishing the ArabAngler5000 and we are really beat. Besides, we fished all night and it was by far our worst tournament ever." Jesus continued to look patiently into Peter's eyes. "Ok, Ok," Peter conceded, "I'm going...I'm going. C'mon Andrew, get the lead out!" The two of them got into their boat and headed out into the deep waters (which ironically were only a few yards off shore). James and John, not wanting to be out-fished yet again, followed suit and took off quickly after them. The two teams lowered their outriggers and began trolling the depths, clueless to what was about to happen. There was a noise... then another. What was it? Andrew shone the lantern out over the waters in search of the origin of the strange noises. He was not prepared for what happened next.

James and John quickly moved along side Peter and Andrew's boat, hoping to share in the new found success of their arch rivals. Meanwhile, overwhelmed with God's wonder and with the help of a fish missile to the back of the head, Peter fell down and cried (and thus began the commonly used exasperative expression, "HOLY MACKEREL!!!"). "Lord," Peter cried out, "Go away from me, I am a terrible man for doubting you... Please withdraw your blessed pelting of fish" "Don't be afraid," Jesus comforted Peter, "From now on you will be fishers of men." Peter envisioned this new prospect, within the context of his current fishing experience, and then fainted. After the ordeal, the four men put their rivalry aside and left their thriving occupations to follow Jesus. That's the news. And now, the rest of the story...

Before leaving the docks, for the last time, John decided to show, his new friend, Peter just how big, the fish he caught was. Peter was prepared to do the same.

I'm Saul Harvey... Good Day!!!