Thursday, December 28, 2006

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Personality Tests

Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||||||||||||| 70%
Schizoid |||||||||| 34%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 66%
Antisocial |||||||||||||||| 66%
Borderline |||||||||||||||| 70%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 66%
Narcissistic |||||||||| 38%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 50%
Dependent |||||||||||| 50%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||| 70%
Take Free Personality Disorder Test
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Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Stability |||| 20%
Orderliness |||||||||||||| 60%
Accommodation |||||||||||| 50%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 63%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 70%
Mystical |||||||||||||||| 63%
Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Materialism |||||||||||| 50%
Narcissism |||||| 30%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Work ethic |||||||||||||| 56%
Self absorbed |||||||||||| 50%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 50%
Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 70%
Romantic |||||||||||||| 56%
Avoidant |||||| 23%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Wealth |||||||||| 36%
Dependency |||||||||||||||| 63%
Change averse |||||||||||||| 56%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Individuality |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Peter pan complex |||||||||| 36%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Physical Fitness || 10%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Vanity |||||| 30%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Female cliche |||||||||||| 43%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
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Advanced Big 45 Personality Test Results
Gregariousness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Sociability |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Assertiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Poise ||||||||||||||| 42%
Leadership ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Provocativeness |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Self-Disclosure ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Talkativeness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Group Attachment ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Extroversion |||||||||||||||||| 59%
Understanding |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Warmth ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Morality ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Pleasantness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Empathy ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Cooperation ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Sympathy ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Tenderness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Nurturance ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Accommodation ||||||||||||||||||||| 64%
Conscientiousness |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Efficiency ||||||||||||||| 42%
Dutifulness |||||||||||| 38%
Purposefulness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Organization |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Cautiousness |||||||||||| 34%
Rationality ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Planning |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Orderliness |||||||||||||||||| 56%
Stability ||||||||| 30%
Happiness ||||||||| 30%
Calmness ||||||||| 30%
Moderation ||||||||||||||| 46%
Toughness |||||||||||| 38%
Impulse Control ||||||||| 30%
Imperturbability ||||||||| 22%
Cool-headedness ||||||||||||||| 42%
Tranquility ||||||||| 30%
Emotional Stability |||||||||||| 33%
Intellect ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Ingenuity ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Reflection ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Competence |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Quickness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Introspection |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Creativity |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Imagination |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Depth ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 67%
Take Free Advanced Big 45 Personality Test
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Instinctual Variant Test Results
Sexual |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Social |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Self Preservation ||||||||| 26%
Take Free Instinctual Variant Test
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Enneagram Test Results
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||| 54%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||| 42%
Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 70%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||||||| 78%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||| 62%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Type 9 Calmness |||||| 30%
Take Free Enneagram Word Test
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Brain Lateralization Test Results
Right Brain (50%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain.
Left Brain (46%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain
Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by

ENFJ - "Persuader". Outstanding leader of groups. Can be aggressive at helping others to be the best that they can be. 2.5% of total population.
Take Free Jung Personality Test
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Enneagram Test Results
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||| 50%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||| 53%
Type 3 Image Awareness |||||||||||||||||| 73%
Type 4 Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Type 5 Detachment |||| 16%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 9 Calmness |||||| 30%
Your main type is 4
Your variant is sexual
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
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Main Type
Overall Self
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Test Results
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||| 54%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||| 51%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||| 79%
Type 5 Detachment |||||| 24%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||||| 71%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 68%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||| 64%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||| 44%
Your main type is 4
Your variant is sexual
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Friday, November 24, 2006

The Gobble Song

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Amazing Hobbit

Off the hizzy...fa shizzy!!!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


I'm angry all the time and I don't know why. I don't know how to enjoy life. I don't know how to be thankful. I feel sad. I feel hurt. I feel hopeless. I wish I felt happy. I wish I felt optimistic. I wish I was thankful. I wish I felt loved. I wish I was more loving. I wish I was a little more like this.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

We've got a special message for you...

The "Willy Wonka" candy corporation has decided to follow in the footsteps of it's biggest retailer, WalMart. After a closed door meeting with representatives from Walmart's Legal Department and a Spokesperson for the Wonka Corporation, Wonka Corp went public with its bold plans to pick up shop and move its candy factories to China. Spokespersons from both companies insist that this is a positive move for all concerned parties. However, the Union of Oompah-Loompahs are outraged by this "travestshamockary" and refuse to "go down like that". Within a few hours of Wonka Corp's announcement, a formal work strike was declared. A representative for the Union of Oompah-Loompahs was overheard, at an emergency Union meeting, shouting from the podium in chant-like repetition, "We're people TOO!!!". The Willy Wonka Corporation has countered with plans for a new hybrid of candy workers, the Asian-Oompah-Loompah, that is much more productive and cost effective. Wonka Corp released this video, during a press conference yesterday, to "show the world the next generation of candy makers".

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Living Day to Day

If you can make it through the whole thing... it's pretty TRIPPY.
One picture a day, everyday, for six years.


Bob Barker was right.
Have your pet spayed or neutered.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Can I get a Witness???

Doin It and Doin It and Doin It....BAD!!!

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Only The Penitent Man Will Pass

Former "George W. Bush" Supporter

Ich bin ein Berliner

"The Power Of Pride"

Seperated At Birth

Two different audiences...same great message.
Thank you guys for showing us how to love ourselves
even more. May we all truly understand the power
of intention and the abundance of our entitlement.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Made in Korea

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Jeong-Hyun Lim

Monday, July 24, 2006

Monday, July 10, 2006

Nets! Nets! We don't need no stinking nets!!!

After a really really really long ride, through the most ever so confusing, space time continuum, our travelling reporter finds himself emersed in a thicket of weeds, near the Sea of Galilee. Still pondering the mathematical possibilities of zero point energy and antimatter, Saul Harvey glances out across the shoreline. In the distance, a man called Jesus is walking towards two fishing boats. The boats belong to two rivalling tournament fishing teams. Team one : Peter and Andrew. Team two : James and John. The fishermen were cleaning their nets for the next big tourney, when Jesus stepped into Peter's boat and began teaching the many spectators gathered on the shoreline. When he was finished explaining the parallels between life and fishing (and a short demonstration of the superiorness of spoonbait over spinners), Jesus turned to Peter. "Peter," he said, "cast your nets out into the deep water." "But Jesus," Peter whined, "we just finished fishing the ArabAngler5000 and we are really beat. Besides, we fished all night and it was by far our worst tournament ever." Jesus continued to look patiently into Peter's eyes. "Ok, Ok," Peter conceded, "I'm going...I'm going. C'mon Andrew, get the lead out!" The two of them got into their boat and headed out into the deep waters (which ironically were only a few yards off shore). James and John, not wanting to be out-fished yet again, followed suit and took off quickly after them. The two teams lowered their outriggers and began trolling the depths, clueless to what was about to happen. There was a noise... then another. What was it? Andrew shone the lantern out over the waters in search of the origin of the strange noises. He was not prepared for what happened next.

James and John quickly moved along side Peter and Andrew's boat, hoping to share in the new found success of their arch rivals. Meanwhile, overwhelmed with God's wonder and with the help of a fish missile to the back of the head, Peter fell down and cried (and thus began the commonly used exasperative expression, "HOLY MACKEREL!!!"). "Lord," Peter cried out, "Go away from me, I am a terrible man for doubting you... Please withdraw your blessed pelting of fish" "Don't be afraid," Jesus comforted Peter, "From now on you will be fishers of men." Peter envisioned this new prospect, within the context of his current fishing experience, and then fainted. After the ordeal, the four men put their rivalry aside and left their thriving occupations to follow Jesus. That's the news. And now, the rest of the story...

Before leaving the docks, for the last time, John decided to show, his new friend, Peter just how big, the fish he caught was. Peter was prepared to do the same.

I'm Saul Harvey... Good Day!!!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

...In other news

This guy does his funky little dance around the world.

Live Video Feed from Sodom

God, help us...and fast.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

WANTED: Experienced Choir Director

On his way back to Galilee, Jesus and his crew traveled through Samaria and stopped in a small village named Sychar. This village was a huge tourist stop because of a very famous well dug there many many many years before, by a man named Jacob. The quality of the water, from this well, was to be marveled upon. Jesus was a little tired from his travels and John needed to use the restroom, so they stopped near the famous site. The disciples walked over to check out the foodcourt, while Jesus went to relax near the well. About that time, one of the locals came over to draw some water. Jesus asked if she would pour him a glass while she was at it. The lady, with a look of sheer shock, looked Jesus right in the nose and reminded him that they were from "different sides of the track" and that it was a bit odd for them to even be speaking. Jesus went on to tell the lady about the "living water" that he had to offer her. Water supremely superior to this well's water. She smiled and giggled knowing full well that he didn't even have a bucket to draw with. The smile then turned to mild sarcasm. She inquired as to where he got off saying that His water was better than her water. With love and grace, Jesus explained further until which time He asked the lady to go and get her husband. With shame on her face, she explained that she had no husband. Jesus agreed, already forknowing this but wanting to see what she would say, and began to tell her about her own past. He then explained to her how much God loved her and how a time would come when different races of people would be able to worship together in all sorts of different places. She thought this sounded really cool but was still in a little shock at his ability to know her life story. Jesus finished up by telling her that God, the Father, is looking for true worshipers. Those of whom will worship Him in spirit and in truth. She smiled and nodded but didn't fully understand the magnitude of what Jesus was saying. Samaritans, at this time, were known only for their ignorance in matters relating to God, and not yet known for their kindness to the weak and suffering. About that time, the disciples returned from their shopping spree and noticed Jesus talking with this this this local girl. They were curious but chose not to ask any questions, as Jesus was always doing crazy stuff like that. The lady dropped her water jar and ran off to tell her girlfriends all about this really groovy dude she met at the well. The word spread quickly and people from all over the village started heading over to see this "Messiah Dude". Many of the villagers put their faith in Jesus that day and were no longer known for their ignorance in matters relating to God.
That's the news, and now the rest of the story...

While Jesus was speaking with the young lady from Samaria, an Angelic Host of musicians glided down from above on wings of fire. Their leader, a young guy, new to the position, his predecessor arrested and sentenced to life in prison for criminal treason, mutiny and impersonating God. This new worship leader, still wet around the wings, was anxious to impress Jesus with his ability to coordinate music suitable for "the moment". Upon hearing the band tuning up, Jesus and the Samaritan girl stopped talking to listen to the band. And this is what they played:

Jesus was not amused. An ad was placed in the "Angelic Classifieds" that evening.

I'm Saul Harvey...Good Day!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Seventh Inning Stretch

In the beginning, it was really really really dark. Moving around would have been extremely difficult, some might say impossible. That is unless of course you were an evolutionary creature in which case the laws of truth did not apply to you anyhow. Being the engineer that God is, he devised a seven-fold plan to eliminate the dreadful nothingness. After completing his rough draft, God took his idea to the board. Since all of the board memebers were of the same mind, the plans were quickly agreed upon and a construction date was confirmed. Here is a brief summary of the seven-fold plan:

Day 1: Begin construction of Corporate Headquarters & Satellite Testing Facility. Begin construction of generators & lights. Obtain patents on all creations. Result- Good

Day 2: Begin construction of "Temporarily Suspended Water Canopy" to be reserved for later use (disciplinary downsizing of middle level management team). Begin construction of aviary. Result- Good

Day 3: Begin construction of solid platform and water tanks. Landscape solid platform. Result- Good

Day 4: Power up running lights and mood lights. Result- Good

Day 5: Stock water tanks and aviary. Result- Good

Day 6: Begin production of animals & release onto solid platform. Begin production of middle level management team. Result- Good

Day 7: Corporate Holiday mandates that everyone abstain from work with the exception of food service workers, who may continue to work in order to provide holiday meals for middle level management.

The construction efforts were a success and the holiday celebration that followed was not to be forgotten...ever.
That's the news. And now the rest of the story...

Around the middle of the sixth day, with no management team yet available for instruction, a few of the animals in Sector 783C began to take things into their own hands. Starvation had led them to wander into a local cabbage patch where they ate until full, and perhaps a bit further. With hunger pains diminished, boredom began to set in. It was at this moment that the eldest of the three wanderers had a revelation:

I'm Saul Harvey...Good Day!